


Blow Out The Candles

by genagirl



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: First times talk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 02:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genagirl/pseuds/genagirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone is alone and blue on his birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blow Out The Candles

Blow Out The Candles

Previously appeared in the zine "Tongues Will Wag 2"

By gena 

Six weeks. Jim figured it had to be a record for Blair, "I’m telling you, Simon," he said with a sigh, "Sandburg’s been dating Misty so long I can actually remember her name." Simon Banks chuckled and reached for another bottle of beer. 

"It must be love," Banks concurred. "You better watch out, Jim, you might be looking for a new roommate soon." He couldn’t miss the stricken look which settled in Ellison’s eyes, draining the humour and energy away. "Hey, I was only kidding," Banks hurried to assure him. "Sandburg wouldn’t just move out."

"He can do whatever he wants. I’m not a kid," Ellison growled and gulped his drink. "I don’t need him to hold my hand anymore." But a tiny voice inside his head whispered, "Liar!" Since Blair Sandburg had moved into his life and his home, Jim had slowly come to realise he did need Blair. He needed the younger man’s control; over his senses, his emotions, over the emptiness which had long ago become a part of him. Jim crushed down the feelings, stuffed them back inside where they couldn’t mock him with Sandburg’s face.

"Yeah, whatever." Banks busied himself with his drink, eyes darting from the basketball game on the tube to the man sitting silently beside him.

"I’ve always known someday he’d have to leave," Jim whispered. "He can’t spend his whole life tagging along with me, can he?" His tone said that he had hoped Blair would do just that.

"Hey," Simon said, forcing a lightness he didn’t feel, "we’ve got the kid married off already. Six weeks, Jim, that’s not enough time to decided what to do with your life."

"It’s not?" Jim shot him a look, "I met Carolyn and married her exactly nineteen days later."

"And look how well that turned out. Come on, Jim," Banks said, "the kid isn’t that impulsive......." He clamped his mouth shut, remembering all the times Blair had demonstrated just how impulsive he really was. 

"I have to face it," Ellison shrugged, striving for a casual attitude despite the tremor which shook his hand as he raised his glass. "Sandburg has a life of his own."

"Does he?" Banks said the words quietly but knew his friend had heard them. He could have said more, could have told Ellison that he doubted Blair would ever leave his side, doubted the young man wanted to be parted from his sentinel or the friend who had become so important to him. He almost said these things but Sandburg’s arrival forestalled his speech.

"Chief?" Ellison set down his beer, a frown creasing his face. "What’s wrong, Blair? Are you alright?" He rose from the sofa, crossing the distance between them in three short strides. He placed an arm around the young man’s shoulders in a gesture both protective and possessive before leading him to the living area. 

Simon could only watch as Blair struggled to compose his features, but the despair which radiated from his eyes couldn’t be hidden. Sandburg accepted the touch of his partner’s hand, leaning close to Jim’s side as he was pushed down onto the cushions. Ellison’s agitation grew as Blair struggled to form his thoughts into words. 

"Something happened with Misty?" Jim guessed. He didn’t let go until Blair pressed a hand against his arm, breaking the contact between them.

"I don’t know what it was," Blair said softly. "One minute we’re kissing, the next she freaked, screaming at me. I mean, she wanted me to go away for the weekend with her and when I said I couldn’t she went postal."

Simon, trying to see both sides and knowing, from personal experience, how important it was for some women have to have their way, asked Blair, "What stopped you from going?" 

But it was Ellison who answered, his voice subdued, "we’re going to Seattle to a concert." He turned to the captain, explaining, "I got tickets to JamFest for Sandburg’s birthday." Bending slightly, peering into Sandburg’s face, he said, "we don’t have to go, Chief. Why don’t you use my ticket and take Misty...on me."

"No, Jim," Blair swept a hand out, capturing his partner’s wrist, hurt brimming clearing in his eyes, "this is important to me, you know?" Jim smiled, he knew it was important to his friend. Blair had been floored with Jim’s announcement that they were attending the concert for his upcoming birthday. The joy written across his face, the happiness shining in his blue eyes had warmed Ellison’s heart, making him glad he’d done it. The chance to spend some time with his younger friend, sharing their mutual, though dissimilar, interest in music had overridden his apprehension. "You said we’d go together," Blair continued.

"But if this breaks up things with your girlfriend," Ellison shrugged.

"No, don’t you see? That’s the whole problem. Misty wouldn’t listen," Blair went on, "she didn’t care how important it was to me, how much I’ve been looking forward to this. You did this for me, you hate all the noise and smoke but you promised me we’d go." When his gaze met Jim’s it held awe. "I thought she understood but she didn’t even give me a chance, just started yelling and then walked away." He stopped talking, eyes clouded with bewilderment and hurt, "It was like I didn’t exist to her anymore, disposable Blair." He sat, a dejected heap shaking his head. "I should have known better," Blair finally said, "I shouldn’t think she’d be any different." Banks looked up, catching Jim’s eye. Ellison’s face was a stony mask but his eyes were full of anger. "What is it about me? What makes people turn away when I try to get close?" Blair shook his head, curls flying across his face like dark thoughts. "I thought she liked me. What’s wrong with me?" His gaze fixed on Ellison; begging for reassurance. 

"Not everyone is like that, Chief," Jim murmured. "The people who really care about you will never walk away." He let a smile cross his face as Sandburg relaxed, accepting his partner’s words with the trust he’d always shown.

"Thanks, Jim," Blair whispered, squeezing the strong hand which settled over his arm. He rose and headed for his room but it was several long moments before Ellison’s features lost the intensity of concentration which said he was following Blair’s every move. Simon didn’t hear the softly despairing question which reached the Sentinel’s ears "Is there anyone who loves me?", but he heard Jim murmur a reply.

"Yeah, Chief," Jim assured him, not bothering to glance at Simon. "I always will," Ellison whispered.

"He means a lot to you," Simon stated the obvious.

Jim, still following his partner’s movements, nodded, "he means everything to me. If I lost Blair, I couldn’t go on. I wouldn’t go on." He stopped there, remembering his declaration of independence, the words which had denied every feeling Blair stirred within his soul.

"I kind of thought that," Banks murmured. "Look, Jim, it’s none of my business.....but....the kid is hurting." Ellison glance up at his captain, his expression neutral. "If he means that much too you, and believe me everyone can tell he does, you should make him know how you feel." Banks left him sitting there in the silent loft, pondering the wisdom of what his heart told him he had to do. He loved Blair. That was the beginning and the ending of every emotion which stirred within Ellison’s soul.

It had begun the first moments of their meeting and grown as days turned to weeks and then to years. Never in all his life had Jim ever felt an instant attraction the way he had when Blair Sandburg had come into the picture. The sheer force of his emotions had rocked him, making him react the only way he’d known how; with anger and intimidation. But Blair had withstood his best efforts to push him away, risking his own life to save Jim’s within hours of their first meeting. The turmoil of his senses, the fear and confusion which had been a maelstrom quickly overtaking him, had all but disappeared every time Sandburg came near him. Some part of Jim had recognised this necessary element in the sentinel’s existence and instinctively drawn Jim to the younger man.

Ellison paused in his musings, determined not to think of what he felt for Blair as part of some genetic predisposition. What he felt for Blair wasn’t based on DNA, chromosomes, or anything biological other than his heart. Sandburg completed him, he understood Ellison’s personality, his needs, his moods. They were almost completely compatible in every way, more so than most married couples ever achieved. Hell, most of the people with the Cascade Police had been speculating on the extent of their star detective’s relationship with his partner since Blair had moved in with him almost three years earlier. Jim felt a faint blush creep over him as memories of those first faint rumours had reached his sensitive ears.

He’d never told Blair. What could he say anyway ‘Oh, by the way Chief, the department thinks I let you live in my apartment because you let me fuck you.’ Of course being Sandburg, he’d probably already made the assumption. It was the 90’s after all and two guys living together, spending all their time together, had to raise a few eyebrows. Not to mention the way Jim treated his younger partner; protective of Sandburg in a way he’d never been with anyone else before. Any perceived threat on Jim’s part towards Blair expressed itself in Ellison’s angry glare and ridged stance until the threat backed away from his property. Jim chuckled lowly, somewhat embarrassed by his reactions now that he had time to think about them, if Sandburg ever found out he acted like some kind of a.....sentinel....guarding his territory he’d never live it down. But it couldn’t be helped. Sandburg was too important to him to allow anyone the chance to harm him. 

Harm Sandburg. Wasn’t that what he was doing each and every day he let the younger man trudge on, never knowing he owned Jim’s heart? Or would it be more harmful to spill his feelings to Blair and see horror or revulsion in those clear blue eyes? It would kill Sandburg to know he’d hurt Jim by rejecting him. Which caused more pain? Both hurt Ellison with equal force, but to bring any kind of pain to Sandburg just couldn’t be tolerated. Ellison sighed, rubbing his hand over his hair as he thought about the future. They couldn’t go on the way they were, something had to give. Jim rose from his chair and moved towards his friend’s room, peering in at the man who had become the centre of his life. Blair lay curled on his side, eyes closed, but Jim could hear the slightly accelerated heartbeat and the occasional sniffle which belied Blair’s posture.

Moving as silently as any war had taught him, and feeling as if this battle were the most important of his life, Jim sat down beside his friend. He placed one hand on Blair’s naked shoulder, marvelling at the warmth which spread through his own body with the contact. In all his fantasies visiting Sandburg’s room in the middle of the night, placing his hands on that desirable body, had brought a fiery lust and a need to satisfy an all consuming hunger. But now, hand splayed on the reality of his friend and able to feel the pain in his beloved, Jim felt only an aching need to erase the hurt with kindness and love. He moved slowly, stretching out just behind Blair, giving the younger man a few moments to tell him to go. When he wasn’t rejected, Jim let himself relax, his arms came up enfolding Sandburg with tenderness. He buried his face in the long curls, inhaling the scent which he couldn’t go through the day without, and gently held his partner against his heart.

"Sometimes it hurts," came Blair’s faint whisper. Jim leaned closer, dialling his hearing up until his friend’s words echoed in his head, "It hurts so bad, Jim, knowing that no one really loves you." Ellison could feel his heart turn over with the quiet desperation he could hear in that soft voice.

"It doesn’t have to, Chief. This," Jim tightened his arms, pulling Blair even closer, "this is real and it means you’ll never be alone. Tonight, tomorrow, in twenty years, you’ll always have someone who cares......," his voice faded, throat constricting as emotions welled behind the gates he’d constructed. Jim could feel Blair’s tremors, knew he had to lay Sandburg’s greatest fears to rest by confronting his own. He stood at the mouth of the abyss, staring down into the depths and praying if he stepped off he wouldn’t be left to bleed on the jagged rocks below. It was a leap of faith and, gently brushing back Blair’s long curls to whisper in his ear, Jim took the leap, "You’ll always have someone who loves you, Blair. Someone who loves you more than life."

For what seemed a lifetime, neither man moved or spoke and then slowly, Sandburg relaxed. Tension drained from his slender body like a paper boat drifting along a stream. "I’m not alone?" he asked in a muted tone.

"Never again," Jim swore. He thought he could hear the smile growing on Sandburg’s face and matched it with his own. "Go to sleep, Chief," he growled, "we’ve got one more day of work before we can go to Seattle." Blair turned in his arms, never breaking the circle and wedged his knee between Jim’s and his head beneath Ellison’s chin, claiming the older man with the simple act of settling down to sleep. Jim stroked a hand over the wild curls and let his eyes close. His last waking thoughts were that no matter what, if they never had more than this, he would be content. Being close to Blair, sharing his life and his love, being allowed to comfort his pain and alleviate his fear were more than he’d ever hoped for in life. With Blair’s heartbeat in his ears and his partner in his arms, the sentinel slept, knowing his world was safe.

* * *

Jim sucked in a deep breath and risked closing his eyes for just a moment not that it mattered, the laser light show had forced him to turn down his sight almost immediately. Now the only thing visible to him was the man pressed against his side. Blair would turn periodically and flash him a dazzling smile and just the sight of it, the only thing he could see, erased the pain which raced along nerves to his brain. The bass beat thundering through the concert hall now felt like a sledgehammer smashing against his skull. He’d started the evening with his hearing dialled down so low that it had reminded him of listening to his transistor radio under the covers as a kid, but as the night had worn on Jim had found his control slipping. Even with Sandburg beside him, the lean body pressed close by surging fans, he’d lost the thread of command over his senses. Smoke circled the poorly ventilated hall, hiding the ceiling from view, its herbal quality adding to his discomfort. Blair had been worried about the effects of the smoke on Ellison, figuring just breathing was the equivalent of two joints. But it hadn’t been the marijuana which had bothered the sentinel, it had been the smell of sweat and sex coupled with the press of Sandburg’s lithe body against his.

Over the blast of guitars and drums, Jim had smiled to see his partner so happy. Each time Blair turned to him, his face ablaze with joy and reached over to place a hand on Ellison’s arm, Jim had the urge to crush his partner to him and kiss his lips. Since the night he’d held Blair neither man had spoken of the emotions which still writhed in the air between them. Once or twice Jim had seen a bewildered look cross Blair’s face only to be followed by an adorable blush, but Blair hadn’t said anything. Jim knew his partner well enough to know that Sandburg was examining the declaration from all sides, trying to figure out if he would be rejected at any time in the future. Jim also knew that Blair knew him well enough to realise it would never happen.

And so with nothing solved and everything hanging, they had packed up their bags and driven to Seattle. Ellison had booked them into a small motel where they’d dropped their bags then headed for a nice dinner and then the concert. He’d found it increasingly difficult to look at Blair without blurting out his desire, Sandburg just didn’t realise what effect he had on his partner. Every time Blair stepped close to him, every time strands of those dark curls tickled his cheek or caressed his arm, every time he heard the soothing voice of his friend, Jim wanted to feel Sandburg’s arms around him. It had only gotten worse as the concert goers surged towards the stage, packing the crowd shoulder to shoulder. Jim had reached out, putting an arm around his smaller friend as several burly types threatened to knock him off his feet. Blair’s smile and his casual acceptance of the touch might not have been too much, but when the scent of sex had reached Jim’s nose, he’d known he was a goner. Somewhere up in the stands, beneath the cover of shadows, couples were doing the wild thing as the Wallflowers wailed and Jim found his head spinning and parts just south demanding attention.

"Come on, Jim," Blair shouted, one arm slipping around Ellison’s waist, "I’m bushed. Let’s go." Jim nodded, his vision blurring so suddenly he found himself lurching against Sandburg with enough force to stagger them both. Only the density of the crowd kept them on their feet. "Jim! Come on, man, hold on to me!" Ellison let himself be steered along the aisle, blindly brushing passed people as Sandburg got them away from the noise and smoke and out into the parking lot. Since the concert had only reached the three-quarter mark, getting out of the place didn’t prove difficult but the shock of fresh air and relative quiet hit Jim like a fist. He leaned back, the drive to the motel merely a swirl of sickening sensations as his overworked senses tried to sort themselves out. By the time they reached the motel Jim found himself equally divided between throwing up and passing out. 

His head pounded in time with his heart, blotting out all but the sound of his guide softly speaking but he couldn’t make out words. Jim, long used to following Blair’s directives even when he couldn’t understand them, let himself be lead to one of the big beds. Gentle hands stripped off his shirt and unzipped his jeans. In a matter of seconds the soft slide of linen caressed his skin and Jim lost himself in the sensations, taking great comfort from the hand which stayed pressed over his heart. "Go to sleep, Jim," came Blair’s tender command through the tangle of feelings, "I’ll be right here." Ellison captured the warm fingers with his own and gave into the darkness.

It was the sound of pages turning, crackling like glaciers splitting, which woke him. "Stop it," Jim whispered, his voice hoarse.

"Sorry, Jim," came Blair’s faint reply. The bed dipped as Blair reached over to place the book on the nightstand and Jim realised his partner was lying beside him. He felt a hand slip under his neck, raising his head a bit, "here, drink this," Sandburg ordered. It was water but tasted like ambrosia to Ellison’s parched throat. He lifted one hand, wrapping his fingers over Blair’s and drank the entire glass. "Better?" his partner asked.

Jim nodded and sank back against the pillow. When he heard Blair’s breathing change he turned towards him and carefully opened his eyes. The younger man was propped on one elbow, hair tumbled around his face like dark clouds around the moon. His blue eyes were almost black in the low light and the crease between his brows made Jim want to gently rub it away. "What’s wrong, Chief?"

"I just....didn’t mean for this to happen," he shrugged one shoulder and cast his gaze down at the blanket spread over Ellison’s torso. "I should have known the smoke and noise would bother you," Blair sat up suddenly, hugging his knees to his chest, "it was stupid to drag you to this."

"It wasn’t stupid," Jim countered. He slowly tested his senses, turning up the dial on his hearing and sight until the room reached clarity. He found himself wishing Blair had a dial he could turn until his partner understood why he’d done it, but since Sandburg didn’t Jim knew he’d have to do it the old fashion way. "And you didn’t drag me to it. I bought the tickets. I asked you to go," he reminded his friend. "This was something I wanted to do with you. I’m just sorry I screwed it up."

"No!" Blair shifted, turning until he knelt on the bed, leaning over Jim, one hand resting on Ellison’s bare shoulder. "No, Jim. You didn’t screw anything up. This was the best....the totally coolest birthday I’ve ever had. God, I think it’s the only time anyone other’s than Naomi’s ever even remembered my birthday."

"Sandburg......"

"It’s true, Jim," Blair offered a small smile, brushing at the hair which drifted into his eyes, "I’ve never stayed long enough in one place for anyone to even know when my birthday is. I was so blown away when you gave me the tickets......like Here, Kid, I took the trouble to find out your birthday. It made me feel so important."

Jim stared at him, confused by his partner’s words. "What do you mean? You’re important, Chief. What makes you think you’re not? Without you....without your help.....I wouldn’t even be here. Sandburg, without you I’d either be locked in a padded cell somewhere or lying in a grave."

He couldn’t miss the shiver which passed over Sandburg’s frame. The younger man’s face drained of colour and shadows formed within the azure depths of his eyes. "J-jim," he croaked and backed away several inches, "don’t say that."

"Don’t say the truth?" Jim shook his head, refusing to back away this time. He’d reached his limit, the mind numbing loneliness which had held him right until the moment his senses kicked in and Sandburg showed up, couldn’t be allowed to enfold him again. "Don’t say that you’re the most important person in my life? Don’t tell you that I’ve needed you since the day you were born? I don’t mean to scare you, Chief, and I don’t want to push you away by saying these things. But you’ve got to understand how I feel," he allowed a chuckle to escape, "you’re the only person in the world who knows I’ve got feelings."

"Chief....Blair," he held out one hand, feeling the heat of his friend’s body without daring to touch the soft skin, "I can’t picture a life without you.....I try some times because I know this isn’t what you want. You’ve got a career, a life of your own. I am so....grateful....that you’ve stayed this long. Each morning I expect to wake up and hear you packing....especially after some of the cases I’ve dragged you out on. And every morning you’re still there I thank whatever powers there are that you haven’t left me. Maybe I’m strong enough now to survive but......I don’t want to. I will if you go, if you ever want to leave, I promise you I’ll do my best," he paused, swallowing the pain these words caused but knowing Blair would panic if he thought Jim had even considered.....anything else. "But if you want to stay....forever....or just for a few years," he hastened to add, "I swear we’ll just be friends and I’ll never push for more than this." He let his fingers touch the warm skin this time, savouring the heat and texture, storing away the memory of his partner’s bewildered expression just as he’d stored away the memory of holding the younger man in his arms.

"W-what if I want more?" The voice sounded little like the authoritative tones Sandburg usually spoke in. This voice was fragile, the words barely audible to Ellison even with his sentinel hearing. There was no expression on the pale face now, nothing to tell Jim what Blair had decided. 

"Then....then I’ll give it." Sandburg’s mouth curled with this declaration, an unconscious smile lit his eyes as he leaned forward and pressed his palm against Jim’s chest. "Whatever you want, Blair."

"I want....you," Blair declared. He lowered his body over Jim’s covering the larger man like a living blanket. Their first kiss - real kiss, not the brotherly kind Jim had often bestowed on his partner’s cheek or top of his head, made the earth stop in mid rotation. Jim wondered mildly whether anyone was hurt as the world ceased to spin and their little part of it flew off into space. And then the culmination of Blair’s actions, the sensations washing over him, exploding across his nerve endings, sent him over the edge. He had all he could ever want or ask for held to him with all his strength, feathering kisses across his chin and cheeks. Sandburg cupped his face with both hands, words whispered across Jim’s skin with the urgency only love can have. It took a moment but the sound filtered down into his brain, clearing as he concentrated - "love you, love you, love you" Blair kept repeating.

The mere touch of those familiar hands sent a warming shiver through Jim and the sound of his best friend - his partner - his guide, saying aloud what he had only allowed himself to think, stole the breath from his lungs and left him gasping. He opened his eyes to the sight of Blair’s tears sparkling in the lamplight and reached up to kiss them away. "Never go away," he asked and cursed himself for the weakness which drove him to beg. 

"Never." Another kiss, this one deep and containing the pure essence of their friendship sent a jolt of longing rocketing through Jim’s body, making him arch upwards. He could feel Blair’s shock and then the fire swept up along his partner’s body, heat tracing along the surface of his skin where it pressed to Jim’s. He rolled them over, trapping Sandburg beneath him as he let his mouth explore the contours of Blair’s cheekbones, the planes of his forehead, the hollow of his throat. Timid hands settled on his back, marking his flesh with traces of Sandburg’s sweat, making him feel a part of his guide clear down within his soul. The hands tightened over his ribs, pulling him closer to Blair as the other man spread his legs wider, pressing their groins together.

Sparks ignited behind Jim’s closed eyelids, he zeroed in on the sound, and smell of Blair’s excited body. He opened his sense of touch until his partner’s body felt like an extension of his own, he revelled in the taste of Blair’s skin, knowing nothing would ever compare to this. "Too much," Jim whispered.

"Jim?" The alarm in Blair’s voice reached him, making him open his eyes to the worried expression his guide wore. "What’s wrong? What’s too much?" 

"Clothes," Jim said. His hands busied themselves with scooping the shirt from Blair’s shoulders. When the furred chest lay revealed, Jim buried his face there, letting the hair tickle his chin as he kissed a path across each pectoral muscle. He’d once tried to get Sandburg to work out with him, taken him to the gym every other night for two months, but Sandburg had finally stopped going along. "That’s not for me, Jim," he’d said, "I’m just not the body builder type." Now Jim was glad Sandburg hadn’t kept it up, his own muscled chest couldn’t compete with the sleek beauty of his partner’s physique. "So beautiful," he murmured, licking a wet swatch around one small nipple.

Blair laughed and caught his head with both hands, "Jim! God, that tickles." Ellison grinned, his mouth settled again on Blair’s chest, suckling hungrily while Blair writhed helplessly beneath him. He wanted to know every inch of the body beneath his, wanted that body to be part of his. Some instinct drove him on, telling him what he had to do. Jim gathered Sandburg close, turning their entwined bodies yet again, until Blair lay on top him. 

"Take me, Chief," he begged. "Make me part of you like you’re part of me." As he said the words, Jim lifted his knees, spreading himself for his guide’s entry. Deep inside, resonating with the thunder of his heart, came the knowledge that this act would be what sealed them together for all eternity. When Blair had taken what he offered there would be no way to separate them, not in this life or beyond. 

"Are you sure?" Sandburg’s face reflected his uncertainty, yet his hands strayed down Ellison’s flanks, pulling the larger man up a bit. With Jim’s nod, Blair ravished his mouth with a soul deep kiss, stealing the breath from Jim’s lungs before abandoning him.

"Chief?" Jim groaned the word, raising his head to track his partner’s movements. Sandburg rummaged through his pack, tossing clothing to the floor until a shout of triumph broke from his lips and he returned to the bed. "Oh," Ellison, grinned when Blair held up a tube of lotion. His guide scrambled back onto the mattress, positioning himself between Jim’s legs. Ellison had never in his life imagined wanting another man to make love to him, to invade this most private of places, but the thought of Blair inside him, making him whole for the first time in his life, thrilled Jim beyond all rational thought.

The first touch of his lover, the solid reality of Sandburg’s commitment to him, sent Ellison spiralling through levels of consciousness. He could do nothing but grasp the velvet, hot skin of Blair’s shoulders and hold on as he was ridden. Time stalled, lost somewhere within the slid of Blair’s cock against his very heart. A spark seemed to ignite, searing away the last shreds of denial, burning through the layers and layers of resolve to stay unaffected. Jim welcomed the fire, he let it spread through his veins and consume his heart. He burned joyfully, wanting only to melt into the man making love to him. He flamed like a candle in the midst of Blair’s love, rising on the heat current until he dropped back to reality.

"J-jim?" Sandburg’s whisper, the cool breath from his lips, banked down the fires, not extinguishing them but leaving glowing embers where love warmed them both.

"Now I’m yours, Blair," Jim whispered, brushing back tangled curls from his lover’s face, "just like you’ve been mine all these years." He captured Sandburg’s mouth, breathing life between the full lips. "It’s the only thing I could give you for your birthday."

Blair didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared down into his eyes. And then he smiled, an expression filled with every ounce of happiness he’d ever known. "I’m twenty-nine today," he said with a grin. "One down, twenty-eight to go." 

Ellison’s groaned, sinking back onto the bed with his arms flung wide. "Maybe I should’ve gotten you the clock radio."

"Instead of your heart?" Blair asked.

Ellison opened his eyes, "you’ve had that from the beginning. I didn’t realise it at first but you did." Blair nodded, pleasure shining in his own eyes as he snuggled down against the larger man’s chest.

"I’ve never had a better birthday, Jim." Ellison hugged him tight.

"Me neither, Chief. Me neither."

 

End…


End file.
